I noticed a lot of similarities in all of your stories and therefore wrote down these 5 stages of gaining weight. You might be able to relate to some of the stages but some of them could of course also be unrelatable for you. Keep in mind; everyone is different and deals with things in their own way. This post is either to take a critical look at yourself, find a way to prevent making the same ‘mistakes’ in the future or maybe just for fun.
You usually go through denial first. ‘it’s not that much’ ‘just some water weight’ ‘I’ll start eating healthy next week’ ‘really, I’ll go to the gym again’. Sound familiar to you? In the beginning the weight you’ve gained isn’t that noticeable yet and pretending it isn’t real just makes you feel so much better about yourself. At this moment you can’t handle the truth yet and making up these simple excuses is easier than facing the truth. I’d like to call this stage denial.
You only realise what has happened when it’s too late and your jeans ‘suddenly’ don’t fit anymore. For some months you’ve fought with your jeans every morning and once they were on you pretended that the struggle never took place. You probably continue doing this until the day comes that you don’t win the battle anymore and have to buy a new pair. -leggings are now your best friends since they don’t have precise sizes-
This is where anger sets in. It’s not your fault that the stupid jeans don’t fit anymore, they shrunk during laundry. You might even blame other people ‘it’s not your fault that all of your friend’s birthdays were in this month’. Blaming others is always easier than taking a critical look at yourself. The thing with weight gain is though, is that most people do blame themselves and not in a healthy way. Often self hate and disgust arise and can cause gaining more weight since many like to comfort themselves by eating the pain away. Eating because you’re sad and then getting sad because of the eating is a vicious circle and difficult to get out of.
This one can make you go completely insane. As you start to question why you did certain things the answer keeps being that you made some ‘bad’ choices. Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten that much on that holiday, or always eat out with your friend. These questions have heightened your self-consciousness and you don’t like what you’re seeing. You realise that you can’t blaim others; they didn’t stuff the food in your mouth and they also didn’t tie you up keeping you from going to the gym.
Realising what your decisions and behaviour have led to probably makes you feel sad. Most people will feel disappointed in themselves and regret their actions. It’s important not to drown in self sorrow but to actually take responsibility, this is the first and most important step to acceptance. A lot of people get stuck in this stage and end up telling others how they aren’t happy with themselves and really have to lose some weight. Trust me, no ones feels sorry for you when you’re complaining about your extra pounds whilst shoving cupcakes and donuts into your mouth. This kind of behaviour will bring you annoyed looks and nobody will take your seriously which also means not that much support.
This final step is the most important one. Personally I think that without accepting what has happened and realising that you can’t go back in time and change this, your weight-loss journey is kind of doomed to fail. Accepting and reflecting what went wrong and why this happened can prevent a repetition. Starting a diet or fitness program because you are full of self loath won’t get you far. Make changes because you love yourself and want to be the best version of you!
Of course you don’t have to lose weight! If you’ve gained some extra pounds but are completely happy with yourself, please don’t make society change that!
How did I cope with my weight gain?
As I said it everyone deals with this differently. As for my way of dealing with the weight I had gained I actually stayed in the denial stage for way to long. That daily struggle with my jeans didn’t bother me that much and I was actually happy with my self (this is important people). Then one day I woke up and realised that I had let it go too far and something had to change. At that moment I still didn’t fully realise how much I weight I had gained and that I really did look fluffy. It is now, when I look at those pictures, that I see all the fat.