With a 5 kgs difference between these pics they’d make a great progress picture. If however, it was the other way around. Lots of comments would be made like ‘wow, impressive’ and ‘how did you do that?’. But this isn’t your typical before and after pic. This is one that shows slip ups, struggles and well, that I’m only human too. For a while I wondered how people would react to a progress picture like this. It isn’t one to be proud of, or is it?
In this instagram fitness world it’s all about showing your progress. We love showing others how lean we got, that we’ve got a new dead lift PR or how much bigger our muscles are. You don’t hear anyone brag about gaining fat, getting ‘weaker’ or skipping the gym. However, if something like this does take place we like to call it a ‘cheatday’, or ‘listening to our bodies’. Of course this is the case sometimes, but sometimes it isn’t.
We’ve all got a personal life –well I hope you do– and as you’ve probably learned through the years; it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. There will be days you won’t feel like singing and dancing on the streets. You might wanna stay home and treat yourself with some ice cream. And that’s okay, it really is. But if cheatdays become cheatweeks and ‘listening to your body’ becomes doing nothing all day everyday you might wanna look a little deeper into your state of mind.
Being honest with yourself isn’t always fun. Actually, most of the time it’s frustrating as hell. Even if you know you’re not gonna like what you see, opening your eyes is still the best thing to do. Find out how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way. Once you’ve clarified this you can work on solutions.
Sometimes I walk around on this planet with my eyes closed too. Sometime over a month ago I was pigging out like crazy, eating practically everything in my reach. I acted all surprised, like I had no idea why I suddenly was so out of control. unconsciously I knew why. With my grandma being very ill and my dad having had a car accident and still recovering this was exactly what a first class stress and emotional eater like me would do.
Then we went on a family vacation to Sweden. Constantly being confronted with the illness of my grandma wasn’t easy on me. But, no time to be sad cause junkfood was in close reach. Getting home I was glad to finally be able to train again. But, I got ill so had to take bedrest. –We all know you deserve large amount of pancakes and chocolate then.- Finally having recovered it turned out grandma had taken a turn for the worse. From that moment on the whole rollercoaster started. I took the train to my grandparents some days in a row. As you know there are many places to buy treats for yourself at a train station and one place alone wasn’t enough for me. After grandma passed away me an my mum mainly stayed with grandpa and got take out pretty much everyday. Also my grandpa has an enormous amount of cookies, cake etc. Day after day I found myself eating 15 cookies in just 15 minutes, indulging whole bowls of chocolate mousse, emptying entire bottles of whipped cream on my magnums and staying as far away from the gym as possible. I had to though, no one can train with a stomach ache as bad as the one I got from all these foods.
It ain’t pretty but that’s the story of how I gained 5kgs in about a month.
The thing is, whilst writing this I just realised; I’m not feeling ashamed or embarrassed at all. It happened, I had my reasons and I’m now working real hard to get back on track. We’ve all got our own struggles, our own story. And I’ve got to say; with each ‘low point’ the high seems to get better and better. I’m more motivated than before to go own that gym again!
I’d like to add that I know that for many my body with the 5kgs extra is still something they’d be super happy with. I’m not complaining or saying that my current shape isn’t good. Just thought that since lots of you are familiar with stress eating as well it would be good to share my story. Whatever happens, never forget to love yourself!
currently in progress: the story of how I got ripped right before summer –still working on that–
Next week I’ll write a more informational blogpost about stress/emotional eating and how to deal with this.
Take care lovelies!
ps. Never just have icecream, always take a MCflurry on the side!!